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And yet even when the number of people who are considered overweight form the majority of the population, obesity is in many ways one of the remaining acceptable prejudices.Last week, the #fatshamingweek hastag was trending on Twitter as numerous assholes and shitbags took to the network and decided to mock fat people – mostly women, but men too – from behind the dubious anonymity of their Twitter accounts.Sure, they may have encountered the occasional creepster, but those certainly weren’t the majority of the people contacting them like they were me.I even looked through one of my friend’s Tinder accounts; none of the messages were as vulgar as mine.I am good at writing and making jokes and cleaning.I would make a wonderful wife, and I would spend the rest of my life trying to selflessly love and serve my husband.Large dudes will frequently lament that their size automatically disqualifies them from dating – they believe that there is simply no way a woman could possibly like somebody who’s body isn’t rippled and shiny like a buttered ear of corn. Kevin Smith, for all of his fashion sins that I will get into in a second, is happily married with a lovely wife and daughter. It’s easy to forget this when the TV and magazines are showing you nothing but image after image of cut, veiny men with swimmers builds with women draped all over them like fur stoles, but women actually like a far wider range of body types than we’d think.Ask five women what their ideal male build is and you’ll get six different answers.
And the most common answer is: “I worry that I’m too fat to date.” I’ll be honest: I’m not surprised. According to the Center for Disease Control, 69% of adults 20 years old and over are overweight and 35% are considered obese.
“I see how so much of love is physical attraction, especially at the beginning. It’s not the one I wanted to believe.” In the latest episode of the “This American Life” podcast, Elna Baker discussed her journey of losing 100 pounds only to grow frustrated with the superficial attention she began to attract.
We resist the narrative of physical attraction dictating love, especially inside the walls of the church where we hope to find much more stringent, substantive dating criteria than waist size, but maybe Elna’s onto something.
Societal standards of beauty are not only arbitrary but often literally impossible to achieve without Photoshop and make-up and there are assholes out there who feel empowered to mock fat people with impunity.
But being large and in charge doesn’t mean that you’re doomed to a life of being forever alone; in fact, you may find that you have far more options for finding love, sex and happiness than you’d ever believe possible. There are plenty of notable examples out there if you look around. Seth Rogan is no Abercrombie and Fitch model but he’s also happily married.